Everything Else is Extra

 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”


Jesus replied, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.  This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”



Love God, love others; everything else is just extra.  I think we've all heard at least the first part of this phrase before.  I've heard it several times during the past couple days.  Mostly it's because I have two very understanding friends who are just fine with repeating it to me several times daily because I can't seem to get it through my head. I tend to worry about a lot of things.  Let's face it, I'm a perfectionist and a bit of a control freak!  I like to get things done on MY schedule, and I like to get them done MY way.  Sometimes I need to remember that I'm not the one in control.  God is.  Sure, I can do my part down here and do my best in school, but in the end it's up to Him to decide how my speech ends up coming out or if my studying will actually pay off for that bio test.  A grade, good or bad, does not determine my worth.  God will still love me, my mom will still love me, my dad will still love me, my brothers will still love me, my "sisters" will still love me, and my puppy definitely will still love me!  That doesn't mean I shouldn't care, but it means that life goes on no matter what.  That's a very good thing sometimes!


Relinquishing control is one of the hardest things for me to do, but this year a lot has been changing for me.  I've been learning that I simply cannot control everything.  I can't control my homework, I can't control my roommates, and I can't even feel somewhat in control and drive off places anymore in my car to escape for a while.


I've also been learning that life isn't going to always go on my schedule.  I love having a regular schedule to follow, and at home that was always hard to do.  My family would always have things going on that would get in my way.  I was actually looking forward to leaving home just so I could finally have my own life and run things according to my schedule.  That still doesn't work though because while I may not have my actual family dictating what I do with my days and nights, I have a new "family" here that keeps me just as busy, if not more.  And this is a good thing.  Sometimes I may not be able to go to bed on time because my sister needs to talk or wants to practice bassoon until late hours, and sometimes I end up staying in the library with a brother a little longer than expected.  But in the end, I know God has truly blessed me with these people in my life, and I would sacrifice my schedule for them anytime.  


To sum up this rather rambly entry, I suppose I'll just say one more time how grateful I am to be at this school learning these things.  It was quite the journey to get here, and I'm glad that God has this place written into the next four to five years of my life.  I can't wait to see what else He has in store for me here.  It may not always be what I want or expect, but I'm ok with that.  Life would be pretty boring if I got to decide everything :)

1 Corinthians 13:13

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love.  But the greatest of these is love.

I hate goodbyes.  There's something horribly final about them, and things are often never the same again after they're said.  Graduating this year, I had to say a lot of goodbyes.  Some of them I was honestly glad to say!  Others, not so much.  Either way, I thought I was done with goodbyes for at least a few years.  This weekend however, I had to say goodbye to a dear friend that I've gotten to know and love over the past couple years.

When my brother first started dating Jasmine, I must admit, my big sister instincts kicked in.  Ben had always been my best pal growing up, and I didn't want him to have any other girls in his life but me.  It was a little silly, I know, but that described my feelings in a nutshell.  

I've seen Jasmine grow and change in so many good ways over the last couple years though.  I couldn't be more proud of her.  Gradually, I found myself learning to like her and accept her into my family.  She has an infectious smile and laugh that never fails to put a grin on my face.  She even joins me in picking on Ben every once in a while.  (That's when you know you've found a winner!!)  

I know God has a plan for her as she makes her move out to Colorado, but I can't help but worry about how much I'll miss her.  More than anything though, I'm thankful for the lessons she's taught me in giving people a chance, even when you don't want to like them.  You never know what could happen when you try to make a new friend :)

This week has been a bit of a crazy week.  Second quad started here at school and I guess I'm feeling a little overwhelmed with life now that I have a whopping five classes instead of four.  It's amazing how much that extra class can add unnecessary stress to your life.  Needless to say, I've been holing myself up in-between classes this week, just trying to get homework done.  This weekend though, I've put all homework aside for a while, and I'm just re-learning how to relax.  Honestly, I woke up this morning feeling anxiety like I haven't felt in a long time simply because I hadn't taken an Old Testament quiz and done my prescribed Jonah reading from the day before!  At that point I realized I was being silly, and obviously needed to make a change!  Lucky for me I have a good excuse not to worry about homework for a while this weekend.  This morning at 10:36 (only six minutes late!), my mom whisked me away along with my two lovely friends for a relaxing day back at home.  It's only been a few hours since we got here, but I already feel my heart going back to beating at a normal pace, and I'm remembering that there's more to life than getting that next assignment done.  On the agenda for today (after about an hour's worth of indecisiveness) is/has been: a walk through the pasture, climbing a tree, blogging at Dunn Bros, a nap, the Nebraska football game, and a birthday celebration for Megan.  I couldn't ask for a better day.  Sometimes I think God sends me days like today to remind me that life isn't all about lists and how much I can possibly squeeze into an afternoon in the library.  So for the rest of this day, I think I'll just be thankful for the simple fact that for the next 23 hours, I am going to be surrounded by all the people I love most: my mom, my dad, my brothers, my sisters, and of course, my puppy.  Life doesn't get much better than that.